Reply: Just Honesty

Amber,I just read your blog post. I am so sorry to hear that "an incident" has happened to you. It grieves me when someone close has been sexually abused. I understand the pain that builds up inside a person who has been sexually abused. I've been there! I was molested many times by my cousin. I was only seven years old.  He was only three or years older than me, if that says anything. He had to be exposed one way or another.
       For many years I blamed myself. I thought, I should of known better. I felt like I had betrayed God, and was worthless. However, as time has gone by I have found comfort in the Lord. I feel that through my pain God is able to use me in a way that some people could never understand. I'm not saying that it hasn't been hard on my relationship with Eddie, because it has been hard. Sometimes my memories kill the romance. Also,there are days when I have flashbacks and wonder why I let those things happen? could I not have stopped the situation in its tracks. The answer.....no, it's not my fault, and my heavenly father is not to slow to remind me of this. He understands all of my grief, because when sexual abuse happens a part of you disappears.
      I don't like to share this story too often. For one thing I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I have forgiven that part of my life, and let God handle the parts that still hurt. Second, I don't want to draw any attention to myself that would take away from my heavenly Fathers. I also don't want to hurt my family. What has happened, has happened. The past cannot be changed. However, I want to share this with my blogger family, because there are so many people hurting from this type of situation. I want you to know that your not the only one, and that it's not your fault. Furthermore I want you to remember, that no matter what pain you suffer Jesus is always, always, always there for you!!!

Date Night!!!

Wow, tonight rocked my world. I had a load of fun spending time with my hubby. He is an incredible man. I know.....sorry, I don't mean to bore you! I just had a great night, and it is flowing out of me. It's days like today that take me back to when we were dating. It feels like yesterday.................................
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I was 16 years old. I recently started my first job at K-mart. I was working the register. My mother was also working that day. She was running the register in the garden shop, and I went to go and see her on my break. Popping my head through the door, I caught my mom's eye. She motioned for me to come over to her. She asked, "Have you ever met Eddie"? "Naw, I don't think so", I replied. (you see my mom had a habit of introducing me to everyone....and I mean absolutely everyone!!!!!) She called out to this guy who was watering the plants outside. "Hey Eddie!! 'Come and meet my daughter'".  In came this tall, skinny guy with sunglasses. He had sweat pouring off of his body. He looked down at me, and said,"Teresa this is your daughter?" He acted like the coyote in the cartoon with the club singer. It seemed he couldn't keep his eyes from hanging out of his head during our little introduction.
Anyway, that's not the funny thing. that night when I got home my mom asked me if I remembered talking to Eddie. She said, "He wanted me to give this to you". I looked at what she handed to me. It was a receipt with a note and a tiny, dead flower taped on the back. It read,"Roses are red, violets are blue, sorry the flower is dead, but forever I will love you". At first, I thought he was freak, but the more I looked the more I liked him. Who knew that I would find my true love in a blue light special!!!