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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Reply: Just Honesty

Amber,I just read your blog post. I am so sorry to hear that "an incident" has happened to you. It grieves me when someone close has been sexually abused. I understand the pain that builds up inside a person who has been sexually abused. I've been there! I was molested many times by my cousin. I was only seven years old.  He was only three or years older than me, if that says anything. He had to be exposed one way or another.
       For many years I blamed myself. I thought, I should of known better. I felt like I had betrayed God, and was worthless. However, as time has gone by I have found comfort in the Lord. I feel that through my pain God is able to use me in a way that some people could never understand. I'm not saying that it hasn't been hard on my relationship with Eddie, because it has been hard. Sometimes my memories kill the romance. Also,there are days when I have flashbacks and wonder why I let those things happen? could I not have stopped the situation in its tracks. The, it's not my fault, and my heavenly father is not to slow to remind me of this. He understands all of my grief, because when sexual abuse happens a part of you disappears.
      I don't like to share this story too often. For one thing I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I have forgiven that part of my life, and let God handle the parts that still hurt. Second, I don't want to draw any attention to myself that would take away from my heavenly Fathers. I also don't want to hurt my family. What has happened, has happened. The past cannot be changed. However, I want to share this with my blogger family, because there are so many people hurting from this type of situation. I want you to know that your not the only one, and that it's not your fault. Furthermore I want you to remember, that no matter what pain you suffer Jesus is always, always, always there for you!!!


  1. Thank you, Aubrey! I love you and I really appreciate you sharing your story... I didn't know and it really makes me feel good to know I"m not alone, but I have a sister who has been there! I'm going to email you through facebook so check there...


  2. Aubrey, I'm glad you're following me on blogfrog and that I stopped by your blog. You and I seem to have a lot in common. I'm an almost 25 yr old, pastor's wife too. :) Well, I actually became the youth pastor at this church 2 yrs ago and since then God has called my husband out of a PhD in Biophysics program and into full time ministry pursuing ordination. We do the youth ministry together and it's quite an amazing ride!

  3. Thanks, for posting Melanie. I love meeting other fellow believers, who are in the ministry. I hope to get to know you better.

  4. Hi Aubrey,

    I'm not sure what happened. I responded this afternoon and it wasn't here when I returned tonight.

    I am so sorry to hear that you have gone through this experience. Unfortunately so many of us has gone through this kind of thing. The enemy likes to throw it up in our faces.

    I am on a journey of healing with the lord about this.

    Thank you for your encouraging blog. it can be hard at times but we need to keep fighting it.
    Please know that I am a prayer warrior and I will be praying for both yourself and Amber. I believe that the Lord uses us in special ways as you said to help people who have gone through the same situations. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you and anyone else.

    I am also in ministry. I work as a youth group leader. it's just not my career. I love children but not able to have them. I have a God sized dream to adopt some day.

    looking forward to getting to know you.

    In Christ's Love & prayers
    Sis in Christ

  5. Tina, thanks for your prayers! We are praying to adopt too and my husband is a pastor. I'm going to check out your blog. :) I love meeting all these PW's!